Everywhere I touch it hurts.". 56. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. The Best Letter Board And Cake Sayings For Retirement Some call it 'retirement.' 64. Why did the police arrest the turkey? May we live up to your example. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. are presented without warranty. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. I said, Scissors. To return Click Here. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? You will always have a home here. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. 30. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Funny Retirement Wishes: Humorous Quotes and Messages Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. picclick.com. Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Amazon.com: Retired Police Shirt Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. 25. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Funny Retirement Quotes. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? Retirement Party. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. I didnt realize you were a cop.. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. See top 10 retirement one liners. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. 10. 38. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. as you follow in His way, The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . quotesgram.com. . 14. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. quotesgram.com. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. You're no longer cuffed to a job. 4. 23 Cop sayings and quotes - funny ideas - Pinterest 29. Some call it retirement. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Retired Legend . Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. QuotesGram - Pinterest A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. Retirement Quotes | The 30 Best Inspirational & Funny Retirement Quotes A word of warning. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Before you criticize, wait. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? 51. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" Nothing happens by accident. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! They aren't going to get rid of me that way. There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." You cant win until you do this. . the People of the City of New York. 39 Retirement Quotes for Police Officers - Someone Sent You A Greeting We, the members of the NYPD, An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. Retirement Quotes (159 quotes) - Goodreads These words may help. An Illustrious List of Retirement Cake Sayings AllWording.com John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. It is better to live rich than to die rich. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! As long as youre working, you stay young. Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? Having A Good Time Is My Job! We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Before you retire, save. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . ~ Ernie Harwell. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. You're a free person! Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family 25+ Retirement Poems to Reflect on Your Life | Cake Blog What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Live well and prosper. A Lifelong Friendship. I can see a few of you look puzzled. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Thank You for the 28 years you gave If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . I tell them, a paternity suit. helpful non helpful. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. Here are some humorous options. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. more on this quote . Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? 49. Share this quote on facebook send via mail. 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Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. it has a blue light. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. A. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. 145 Funny Retirement Quotes For Coworkers, Friends And Family It's all lazy days from now on! Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." Why are policemen such great volleyball players? 23. The claw Enforcement. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. Why did the police arrest the star? A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Hello to a new adventure. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Congratulations. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Margaret Mead, A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. You cant win until you do this. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. I can't take it any more! A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." 161+ Funny Retirement Cake Sayings Will Make You Smile The best GIFs are on GIPHY. 50+ Happy Retirement Wishes & Quotes | Greetings Island Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Best wishes! 1. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Peter Lynch. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. 11. Farewell Tension. The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! So increasingly will be peace. - Unknown. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. Funny Cop Retirement Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. 12. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! I win! and drove off. Why did the police officer smell so bad? Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?