That's alright, that's a common mistake. It was just a kiss. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. What should I do. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. Houston, we have a problem. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. male Is Having Feelings for Someone Else While Married Normal? I agree with you about her being straight forward and telling her husband about the kiss and not holding back any secrets. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. 5. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. I see this as two issues. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Need help with your relationship? And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Secrets have no place in a marriage. What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. I had text my husband so he knew where I was and that was ok. ;-)). Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Take it away, expand if you please! Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. Its more like an excuse for cheating. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A But I can't leave my job. You reap what you sow. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. But living a lie would be so much worse. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. I'd be obsessed with it. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A That is what separates the women from the girls. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Except with other truth-seekers. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? I'm so confused. I dont believe in innocent kiss. ;-)) Well, that's all fairly laudible but So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. (Got me cracked) 24 I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. Kissing After Divorce: Can You Handle It? - Divorced Girl Smiling You want me to go on a comma and replace her. And the tricky piece de resistance I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. Biological ones. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. ;-) I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. I Feel Guilty About Kissing Someone | Relationship Talk He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Married and I kissed another manshould I tell him? - Page 2 I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? Why do I feel guilty after a make out session? - Quora Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. WORK. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! Should I ask him for gas money? So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. I regret waiting so long to tell him.-2 months. Other way around. If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. That was crazy' and other awkward things. = I'VE ONLY GOT HIS WORD FOR IT. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. Despite their passion during the kiss. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). It happened two days ago. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. You confessed your sins. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. I could tell that he had a thing for you. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! In essence . Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. I agree. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. You're the worst! Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Hi SoulMate! I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. instead of: But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. | You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. I'm mortified. Boyfriend kissed another guy at a gay bar with me for my fantasy, i NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. female I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. I feel horrible. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. Please leave me a comment. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I am sure this girl knows he is married. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. Evidently. Login first As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. What should I do. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. This recently happened to me. Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. But for me, it was. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. I have no idea who the girl is. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. With the other woman just across the room! You can't fake that . My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. (SK, that award doesn't exist. End of story. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . Do you want to end you marriage? My wife wants to leave because of this. David bit Jordan. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Nah Don't say a word about it. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" Your guilt is your punishment. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. Have a happy day every one. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. female I am giving him space to think. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. I had three Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Better safe than sorry. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. I'd never be able to get over it. I didnt tell him. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. 14 Effective Ways To Get Over The Guilt Of Cheating - A Conscious Rethink They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? Your guilt is your punishment. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. Foxie: There was something missing in my marriage. So she left after a couple of replies. Almost a year ago I began university, my boyfriend and I decided we would do long distance and we are still together now. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. The playing field is even now according to statistics. She said this is how it starts. Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Tell your husband. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. And he grabbed my waist!. "and though he immediately pulled away". What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush It was such a weird experience. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. Don't have an account? I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. See what she has to say. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. 3. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. Would they be as lenient? Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. Can you tthan please explain this? My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? I'll see you over there. LOL Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Good luck. Wouldn't you? A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. Any advice guys? If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Unforeseeable consequence. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. 3 Ways to Keep Guilt From Ruining Your Relationships Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. Sentiment accepted, though. My SO and I had been dating two years. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. 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