For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. !! It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. You can thank societies changing attitude towards sex with social media being one of the cheaters biggest tools as well as sites like ashley madison.com.rates are as high as up to 70 percent infidelity for women and 80 percent for men. Its a partnership, a friendshipcouples give up way too easy. And some families have one parent. Hi Cassie I married my husband less then one year ago. 6. Its up to you whether you can see them through. Its a love that looks right., She asked us, Did you know he has Down syndrome? I was a little shocked. How are you doing? I cried a little, but I didnt beg him to stay. My Husband Has Left Me - What Do I Do Now? - Andrew G. Marshall I was willing and able to do what it took, but he was committed to the fact that it wouldnt work. We have been married 2 and a half years, and together for 4. Btw she is the only family i have here and i cant get past the fact that she doesnt love me anymore This is my second marriage and the pain is horrific.. Our self esteem is 0!! Well I am the adulterous turned bunny boiler. After all I did to keep our little family together he walked out on us. And he just does not get it. You might think she's overreacting at being passed over for a job and she might think you're crazy for over-analyzing that awkward moment at a . Change your life train. In this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel. In hind site, probably too much. Any suggestions? Long story short we got back together. I do not know if it is love. .. Ill need it but Ill make it xo, I disagree with your statement about personality disorders. So, we did not have that much left. Remember you have to guard your heart and say off the spiders web or else youll be a victim again. Any words of inspiration would be appreciated, although the way Im feeling right now, I dont know if they would be of any comfort. 2. What I can say is once you read what others have to say your self esteem and self worth will rise and give you wings as you realize none of it is YOUR fault , they will never change and can only love themselves ! But over the course of 13 years it would wear on her to the point that a few months back she finally broke down and told me how much it would hurt her. Hi Andy I want to move back to Florida and i just dont think its worth us fighting to save the marriage anymore. everyday i see her in college she will be busy with someother boys so kindly assist me, how to move on without her. How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. Im paralyzed and just dont know where to begin? I feel it to.. Too make it short our son had to go with me to pick up her car several times her friends brought her car home once before she drove her car off road through a mailbox into a tree totaled car was able to get past cop because he was looking for signs of alcohol let her manipulate him with a phantom car story and I was not notified until her car was towed to a lot. Tried a lawyer, she sank me for thousands without ever doing a thing and I just wont take that road again. And it may never happen. Two blows in one go. Their loss. I felt we became room mates and no longer husband and wife. Too bad he is having a mid-life melt down. Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. He would attempt to hide his porn addiction by holing up in the loft in our garage when I was not home. I am obsessed with telling his wife. So sad .. Hi Susan how is your leg? He wanted what he wanted and he used whatever he could think of justify getting it. My husband left me and I am wondering how you are feeling? I cant believe that she will come back from this business trip with her husband and we would be able to continue on as we have and still have the relationship that we both have known to be so strong. Anyway, good luck & I wish you the best. There is a Creator of the Universe who cares about you and wishes nothing but the best for your life. She told me she had more energy than everyone in her family and felt like she was waisting away. He just kept saying it was 'his problem.' I later learned this depression likely stemmed from him not wanting to leave his son, but feeling like he was stuck in a marriage he didn't want to be in. My husband left me citing this as the only reason. I had two children who needs to complete their dreams. I had made all the food and he had left it all behind. He apologized but, i know that he meant it. I said that i am going to the car and he followed me and said if you leave i am calling an attorney on Monday and i am so sick and tired of you. 5. The whole that used to be my heart was devastated. That lasted for 6 months and she then moved to her own apartment, the entire time stating that she didnt know what she wanted. They dont even have to contain a mother or father, they could be aunts, uncles, your step-family or even friends. We talked and decided to give it another try things were great at first l felt like a queen. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. He is selfish and shows no affection for me. Here are just a couple of possibilities for the relationship ghosting: Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the level at which you recognize and empathize with emotions. You feel criticized. And just this week has gone away with just him on a business trip over seas. Sometimes all it takes is to know someone believes in you to find the strength. They got a place July 3. Luckily it isnt working and they can see his behaviour for what it is which makes him even more bitter and he subsequently blames everyone else for people not wanting anything to do with him. But I am distracted by my mothers illness. I also was finding 100 S of dollars in her car over and over and over with the pills. . I remained strong on the outside and everyone asked how I kept it together, but that doesnt mean it wasnt extremely difficult and the most traumatic experience in my life. The fifth reason I found out about on my own and that was because she was having an affair. I still work full time. Its time to accept that forgiveness and love dont have corners or boundaries. I found this searching for some advice. Although she wasnt having a physical affair, she was having an emotional one. I will pray you find the strength to accept this and that you two can still have a good relationship even though it will not be romantic any longer. 2. to do the same. Take care my friend it will get better and thank God you arent 58 like me We'd love to hear your stories. Dog depression is similar to the kind we as humans experience. The message is so strong and clear when there is infidelity . I have stood with her thru the good and bad times and now that I am out of the house she treats me like Im a stranger. Im sorry but she has a mind of her own and can make her own mind. For him to leave like that in the middle of the night tells me that he is very immature! I think the worst part is I feel like Ive had my heart ripped out with no closure, as I was left no explanation to her leaving, and pieced over the night that she hadnt been being honest with me about what she had been doing, who shes been seeing etc. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. So she waits and just ripps all he has from him while deployed knowing I had no chance. It was almost like a death, but the person I was losing was still in front of me. People are self-centered and do not think of the people they hurt. . 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. I guess I still love her as pathetic as that sounds. You deserve better . He is indicating you have all the power over his life. We can use our parents for communication or others but absolutely zero contact from now on is the only way to make the hurt stop. But her decision is not deadly. Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. I have someone that they work with that gives me info and all they do is talk about me and say Im a terrible mother and person.. Hi, I married my wife when i was 22 yo The very best i could do is tip toe and stear her away from the many triggers for her depression and rage. When when I questioned her parenting style (her first sonmy stepson grew up to be a narcacistic bully), she came back the next week, having already been to a divorce attorney and had already filed. I am just wondering something just seems very off. Photo, Ondine Corewijn/Stocksy. Part of me want him back because I believed in him and that we could have grown to love each other. Also, start shopping for insurance now. Do you talk to her parents? I smile all the time, Im happy and content despite the mess my marriage is in. Dont tell me to cherish what I had just focus on whats next. I will follow this for now. I did everything I could and I was under the impression that things were improving as the passion from her appeared to return. It just goes to show that when people are emotional can become defensive and only understand whats written in their own way regardless of whats written, from reading some of the comments. I know that was never her intention to use me, thats just not her. Things like eating right, exercising, therapy, meditation, massage, friends, family Anything to get better Its horrible.. I miss the small talk. And meeting another woman again is very difficult now for many of us single men too, now that Feminism is everywhere these days, Ok have to jump in here and say that half this list was well debated by surviving marriage members, who salvaged most the married groups helpful comments to suffering people going through the same similar situations advocated for on this list, leaving me to ponder this probably being horrible advice from the same site since many or Ill have ruined most my own relationships let me at least try to clear things up for honest hurting folks, people leave for 1 simple reason so both sides pay attention so your aware of whats up what you are really doing and choosing simple really they want to get that? Shes married with two children as well, and was in a comfortable marriage. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time; our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext. She left and went there dad and sister tree planting mothers. i dont know specific reason, but i convinced her she was not interested in me anymore but i dont want let her go. No one else will ever understand my journey or experience, because it does not sound right or possible, but it happened. Part of the reason was because he was working too much and I was left to take care of the children while dealing with my emotional issues. We fell apart in every way possible. I am 38 and my husband 52 walk out on me while I am work. There are not only 5 reasons a relationship ends is all Im pointing out. So it wasnt long after that he became violent. I gave a lot of myself over to my marriage and taking on a lot of stuff trying to be a help mate. And that is accepting that it might be a few years before your husband comes back to you or before you find someone to love you again. I just want her to call me & tell me its going to be ok but she is pressing ahead with this divorce in what seems nothing other than an irrational speed. Dear Kelly, If you think consulting with a mental health professional might help you, please use our directory to find a good fit. Ive never had any depression or anxiety OCD or any mental illness . As soon as she had her degree and job, she didnt need me anymore at least thats how Ive chosen to see it. How do I get thru this pain? She was followed home while driving rental car in and out of her lane off shoulder and then into oncoming lane. Wife Abandonment - My Husband Has Suddenly Left me - Vortex Success I cant sleep at night. After he left her for a younger woman, Mark Harrison was portrayed in his wife's newspaper column and recent novel as a selfish cad. Here it is. She txts him daily and it dosent bother her that Im right there. But I love her. The night we separated he told me he loved me but, Not in that way anymore. I would take a stand and approach this situation head on. Then we irretrievably hate. I will never get over this, I am hurting so much. You will probably find things thaT you might enjoy to do that you could not do before. My husband for 8 months blame everuthing in our marriage even though I was faithful every single deployment and training. You knew I would do anything for those kids and yet you continue to prove our family will never be worth your time and effort or attention. Its safe to say its probably in the bloodline, and Ive got great role models there. I havent overcome anything yet. Left with no reason. *they dont have time for a relationship There were no reasons for her to fall out of love with me. Ive let go, Ive got my life back and cant wait to hear you and others on this site can feel the same way . This podcast explores all things love and relationships. It takes a brave man to walk out on his wife and kids I found that he had taken my key out of my purse for the car. He hasnt seen his children since he left,my daughter that is 22 wants nothing to do with him,she really wants to kick his butt.im having a hard time dealing with this, I cant believe he could do this to us he was a wonderful father and husband what makes a man do this? About 8 years in we had a son forcing us to live with her parents on a temp basis (a year!!) This one has been definitely the hardest for me to deal with. This is often the most painful reason for a leaving, but its also sometimes the easiest to accept. It sounds like she just couldnt take the build up emotionally anymore, but that can be fixable. . Im going to make what might seem a peculiar suggestion, for the sake of those who cannot get over something like this. I am an alcoholic in recovery with almost 22 yrs of sobriety. No matter I am around my kids but his stuff is all over her place. We had a solid marriage and two great kids. Keep me posted on how things are going for you. I was lost. He also uses the excuse that my 2 sons, not his btw, are too much for him to handle. I feel now I am stuck either serving my x to her wishes just to see my children but never afford it. Your partner must understand that they cannot resort to breaking up every time they're feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges. So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing. You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . My husband of 5 yrs n partner of 8 yrs cheated. My grandmother raised 3 girls on her own as a widower at just 42. I have cried for months. I am not trying to put your love down. I knew it was something . He had itchy feet a few years ago and spent some time travelling and living in different states for work but in the end he came home. Both knows the situation, though the comfort factor, causes them to remain in this loop until something shakes it up. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. Saving the relationship when youre the only one trying is tough but it doesnt always mean your relationship should be scrapped. Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. With no signs no reason why just said he had to go he had to do it. 3. Note to self, pay more attention, and get reliable input from friends and family. Things werent perfect between us for about a year, but after Christmas, I thought things had been going ok. We applied for a mortgage and it was in those weeks waiting for approval that he made the decision to leave, in early February 2017. As of now, it has left me heartbroken. I asked him why is he doing this and all he can say was that he hasnt been happy. Would tell them I would rather be at work than at home knowing. Thank you I needed to hear this because my relationship is in trouble and Im so in love with him, Uvette I want to believe that it is all a nightmare and that she will wake me up any moment and forgive my past This is the second time I have been dumped under the same situations. But she left me with all unnecessary fear and stick to her parents decisions who doesnt know the ground reality but imagineIm praying to god please pray for me. Only single guy in my group. Has anyone given you a chance to tell your side of the story? I am beyond hurt. Really sounds like he is the one that will be missing out, just find yourself again. This just didnt happen in my family. Hi CassieD! He worked through the anger already. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. Health not good. I have spoke with him hundreds of times about sticking together when problems would arise with the girls. And that makes it hard to think about anything else. I feel so alone, so forgotten, and it some respects even used a little. (2009). The correct answer is not to say I dont want to be around someone miserable. Its etched in my mind. (Poetic) Most importantly very little if no bias. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. Felt like two people living two separate lives in one home. Research has also found that of the couples who felt their marriage was in serious danger of ending but who stayed the course anyway, over 80+ percent of them wound up feeling very glad that they didnt get divorced. We have a little girl of 3, and my two sons of 10 from my previous relationship. I moved away from my hometown with my son Met the man Im with now and my 7 year old loves him His real daddy recently passed away and so me and my fiance wanted a baby sister for us and him meanwhile he has 4 other kids that he told me the kids couldnt keep him at there house. He doesnt seem to understand that his actions create conflict in our relationship. with my kids asking the same question and my narcissistic ex looks like a victim of a situation that just didnt work out as we grew apart as he puts it. This lifestyle caused me great shame and guilt and I could never understand why I didnt fit in anywhere. I am in shock. Oh gosh Im sorry for your pain. We just stopped, as she put it. Worst day of my life just praying she would come to her senses and save our family. This is how they survive. April 22, 2022, 1:05 am. Im sorry for what you are going through Im in the exact same boat Married 17 years too he left this is my husbands 2nd affair Its sickening how a spouse can do this.. I now no longer can afford to live near my children and my job is a roaming goverment contracting job. My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of my child seems to have just done the very same thing to me. She ignored my calls and texts between then. My husband of five years, 11years together came home from work, it had been a week since he works away from home and left me, one week before Christmas. We signed the papers last week. I still love her with all my heart but she continues to treat me worse and worse. Is it Your Partner or Your Mental Health Condition? Here's How to Know Very true unfortunately people have no gratitude and are not satisfied with what they have only look at what they dont, Grass always greener on the other side and want what others have got even if that destroys there own lives or someone elses. Try and stay strong, I know how it feels. My husband told me he's not happy- please help! So its interesting that he would say that wasnt good enough for me, that I wasnt there for him all he wanted was for someone to love him and listen to him. Sure, I knew things had not been great between us, but I never thought she would leave! there never will be. I still manage to stay positive through it all, that is the most important thing you can do and the best advice I can ever give. What happened was, my ex husbands lawyer kept canceling the hearings, four months later they just dropped the case, by then I was so distraught. Seems he mailed her interior vibrators to enhance their sessions. But Ive never really been able to trust him and while he says this time theres no one else and this time its about us not being able to live together and his miserable I make him and have pushed him away, a week after he left I saw him with another woman. This may have nothing to do with you so giving him some space and trying to be supportive for now might help. She sounds like shes crazy now. And they spoke to their daughter over phone. Suffering from Depressing and other sickness as gotten worse for me. Now comes weekend #1, now I have been there every single day after work and done all the work so she could relax and she looks at me and says youre taking the girls for the weekend right? I dont know what to do.I know that i need companionship.I cant go through life alone.I miss her so much. Finally, I embraced it., I thought I was a goner and my story was coming to an end. Days are much better here this time around wasnt nearly as hard. thanks for this im in this kind of situation right now.. On new years eve my fiance left thee house. We are taking it slow and I hope to move there within a year My ex husband did the same thing I tried everything and nothing. Letting go of the past - especially a husband who left you for another woman - isn't about "getting over it.". I am missing a lot more but this story is long enough as it is. I asked if you need a brae thats fine but can we still be a couple she said no, she took her name off the lease fast and I noticed at night I could see she was on messenger most of the night. I am so heart broken why would he do that to me and how will l get over him ALLTOGETHER. I have been madly in love with this woman for the 12 years weve known each other, and of course I was devastated. He had his stuff, his money his problems. 2. Hi Robert! If its being away from me, then I have no choice but to deal with this sadness.