Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . Previous. drip. Q: What do you use to fry a peter? Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Q: Name two rams and a goat. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. sister's hope chest. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. A: Ultra-conservative. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. ", "Sis boom bah." , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Ed McMahon: Shogun. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . Line: 192 A: An unmarried woman. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? The answer was always an outrageous pun. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! A: "Here's Boomer." May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Function: require_once. A: Henry R. Block. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. A: Eight is enough. They've been kept in MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Carnac the Magnificent. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune . Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. A: Skalliwags. . Carnac The Magnificent undated. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? A: The four musketeers. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Paul? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" . The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? Curses, Curses, Curses . "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. A: Planter's Punch. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Forum Novelties. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. resuscitation with a sick lizard. Line: 68 stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. A: Mr. Coffee. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? A: Ransack. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. . JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. A: Kris Kristofferson A: Gatorade. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Q: Where should you address all your mail? Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? . Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Browse more quotes by famous person's name. The character was introduced in 1964. A: Rat pack. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Feel free to laugh, but beware! Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Line: 479 A: Shareholder. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. A: Sha-na-na. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. A: Baja. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: Pipe dream. The Question: Name three famous puppets.